The Syrian Sephardic Minhag Regarding Weddings and Parties During The Three Weeks

Let’s clarify a Minhag that applies to the three weeks between Shiva Asar Be Tamuz and Tisha Be Av. This is the period known as ‘Ben HaMitzarim’, which is the time we mourn the loss of the Bet HaMikdash. The topic of weddings and parties is continuously brought up, and the question is asked if weddings or parties are permissible during the 3 weeks.

Maran’s opinion as brought down in the Bet Yoseph clearly states that it is permissible to get married and make weddings and parties during the 3 weeks up until Rosh Chodesh Av. Rosh Chodesh Av is included in the restriction. So according to the Shulchan Aruch, weddings and parties are restricted on only 9 days, from the Rosh Chodesh Av until the end of tisha beav.

We normally take the opinion as stated in Shulchan Aruch as Halacha. Moreover, we especially take Maran’s opinion when other leading Poskim publish similar opinions. In this case, Chacham Ovadia Yoseph Shlita, and Chacham Ben Tzion Z”L both agree and hold that it is permissible for Sephardim to make weddings and parties all the way until Rosh Chodesh Av.

The Ashkenazim follow Rama’s stringent opinion and do not make weddings or parties at all during the 3 weeks. They refrain starting the night before Shiva Asar BeTamuz all the way until the fast is over on tisha beav.

This is the real Sephardic custom. Whoever doesn't follow this custom he is not Sephardic any more. He switch to Askenaz.

The entire post shown above, it seems, was taken from dailyhalacha.com. We appreciate your posting this for our reference. In the future, when copying something word for word, please provide the source for your information.

Also, it seems you left out the second half of that day's halacha. Not to worry though, I have posted it for you below.


(continued from post entitled "Sephardic Minhag&quot
"...Now, we normally take the opinion as stated in Shulchan Aruch as Halacha. Moreover, we especially take Maran’s opinion when other leading Poskim publish similar opinions. In this case, Chacham Ovadia Yoseph Shlita, and Chacham Ben Tzion Z”L both agree and hold that it is permissible for Sephardim to make weddings all the way until Rosh Chodesh Av. BUT, the Minhag for the Syrian Sephardic community in New York and New Jersey seems to be different. This particular community, of which I am a part of, follows a custom not to make weddings during the weeks beginning Shiva Asar BeTamuz. No one really wants to make a Simcha (happy occasion) during such a time, which, for the lack of better words, carries a bad omen. The community prefers to make their occasions during a happier blissful period. The community has adopted this custom even though our Rabbi, Chacham Ovadia Yoseph Shlita holds differently. Chacham Ovadia Yoseph wants to prevent possible transgression and/or bad thoughts, and therefore holds better to make a wedding than to push it off. However, the adopted custom is currently paramount and is how our community follows.

There is a pasuk which says ‘Shema Beni Musar Avicha V’al Titosh Torat Emecha’. Meaning, we should not deter from the ways our mother taught us. This is referring to our customs. We must embrace our customs, and follow the Minhagim set forth by the previous generations.

Bottom line, there is a custom in our community in New York that we should follow. That is the custom to refrain from making weddings during the three weeks from Shiva Asar BeTamuz until Tisha BeAv.

It should be pointed out though, that it is permissible, and we hold that it is acceptable to have engagements, but without music and without dancing, from Shiva Asar BeTamuz until Rosh Chodesh Av. In fact, Maran writes in the Shulchan Aruch, that one can even have an engagement on Tisha BeAv itself. We don’t hold like that, but nevertheless, it is permissible to get engaged up until Rosh Chodesh Av."

Source: Rabbi Eli Mansour, http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=946

I'm sorry. I don't agree with you.

The B&B in Stratford-Upon-Avon

Excelelnt information. I have stumbled this post for other to find.

Anja from B&B in Stratford-Upon-Avon