The first step towards attracting and finding your future partner is to clear the way for it by letting go of your past. Let go of any resentment, hurt or fear towards anyone who participated directly or indirectly in a relationship with you. Some people carry their past resentments and fears and think of them as if they were lessons that life was trying to teach. You should know they are not. They are only byproducts of unfortunate situations and the sooner you can let go of them, the better off you will be.

You should take a look at how you act in relationships. Ask yourself why your past relationships have not worked out? You must accept that you are partly responsible for these failing relations. If you don't clearly see what you did to end those relationships, you are powerless to prolong future relationships. You want to look at all aspects of your relationship behavior, from what you do when you first meet someone to what you do when you get to know them. Ultimately, you also want to take a look what you believe about relationships and the opposite sex.

Define your true ideal relationship and partner — don’t ask yourself what you want, ask what you need. What can you live without in a relationship? What do you absolutely need to thrive? What do you need from a partner day-to-day? To avoid fantasy in your definition, ask yourself what you want from another that you are not willing to do or be yourself. Remember that nobody is perfect, yourself included.

Chances are, you have participated in many social situations simply as a way to meet available partners. It is likely that you were not very successful, or perhaps the relationships formed this way crumbled quickly. Here is a paradox — if you want to meet your ideal partner, stop looking for her or him. Socialize as a way to enjoy your life and as a way to be a part of a vibrant community. Be social to enhance your life and not to look for a partner. When your life works and you are happy, the right partner will be drawn to you.

To develop new relationship patterns you have to replace your old ineffective patterns. This sounds harder than it is. You should see people for who they are and not for who you want them to be or who you are afraid they are. Recognize your attraction to people, understand what you are attracted to in them and have a choice in what you will do about it. Know what you need and be able to assess if a potential partner is able and willing to meet your needs.

Now that you know how to attract and look for your ideal partner, shift your focus towards creating the kind of life that you want. At this point, most of the work required to attract your ideal relationship is already done. Your ideal partner is just around the corner of your ideal life.

The key to creating your ideal life is to make yourself happy now and to set yourself up to be happy in the future, regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not. Creating your ideal relationship is strengthening your faith in G-d. It is guaranteed that at one point or another in this process of attracting your ideal relationship you will feel as if everything you have done has produced absolutely no results. Your faith and hope will be the one thing you will have to count on.

On your way to find your future partner, let go of your past and look at your future with increased faith and hope. The essence of co-creating a lifetime partnership is to move slowly and spend quality time interacting with the person. Phone and e-mail are not the same. Be sure to choose a partner that will satisfy your long-term needs. Most importantly, build a relationship on a foundation of honesty. A relationship built on such a foundation will last for a lifetime. Good Luck!